Addition to our June group meeting notes: Megan's recommendations

We had a great group meeting a week ago. Here is our latest picture of our June summer team!

In addition, I talked with Megan about our decisions from the group meeting, and here are additional recommendations she gave us. Let me know if you have any questions.


1. We talked a lot about Liam’s use of “GIVE ME”. I told Megan that sometimes Liam even tells us “give me downstairs” , “give me car” and that “give me swing” is a daily thing. She recommended us to really give explanations to Liam and PAUSE for a long time to see what he thinks and what he says. For example:

Liam: Give me swing
Mom: I already gave you a swing. Look, you already have a swing.
Liam: Give me swing
Mom: I cannot give you a swing, I already bought one to you. What do you really want to do?
Liam: Give me swing
Mom: I am not sure what you mean … (or non-verbal cues that we don’t understand)
….
If time passes and he does not say something, we could after a long wait and several tries say: “It’s time to swing, Liam. I will push you”. We can vary it up using expressions like:
“Carry me to the swing”, “come with me to the swing”, “push me”, “pull me”, “twist me”, “stop swinging”, “more swinging” … etc.

We can model for him sentences, but don’t do it TOO EARLY. Give him time and chances to think what to say. It is too easy for him to just repeat, so he really needs the chance to think by himself.

The idea is to be consistent. Liam is very smart, so if we show him that “give me” does not go for things like going downstairs or going to swing or going to the car, he will be frustrated at first, but he will learn quickly. So, take him literally, give him explanations, and WAIT/PAUSE and given him time to put his thoughts together.

Megan also recommended to do modeling when he is not requesting or he is not struggling, so in the middle of playing. For example:
We are playing and we say: “It’s time to eat” , so that he understands that not everything is about “give me” or “let’s” or “I want” but that he could also use an expression like “it’s time to …” or “I feel like …”

2. We talked about “give me crackers, yes”. Megan said, we could allow that for now and instead we could work on BREAKING THE PATTERN that we have of repeating every request Liam gives us, so that he needs to use YES after we repeat it. Like:

Liam: Give me seaweed
Us: Oh, do you want seaweed?
Liam: YES

So, the trick is for us to NOT repeat what Liam says. Instead when Liam says “give me seaweed”. We can say: “Of course”, “I would love to”, “I am on my way”, “Sure”, but do NOT repeat his request, so that he gets used to not saying YES after every request 

3. We talked about us wanting to please Liam, but our job is not to please Liam, our job is to be his “coach”, his “trainer”, and, of course, his friend. And friends, coaches, and trainers do push you to do all you can do. And we know Liam is capable of everything, especially now that his body is more balanced than before.

4. This is a theme for everybody to try: PLAY HOUSE, PLAY CLEANING THE HOUSE. Antonio is very interested in the kids getting better at this, and it seems the kids are open and interested in different degrees to do more “grown up stuff”.

a. Clean up toys is the baseline. They are better now at this. Keep asking them to clean up.
b. Clearing the table. We could start with their plastic dishes after you play that you are in a party or having a meal, etc. Eventually they could clear a real table.
c. Washing and drying dishes. They could start with their plastic dishes, etc. Eventually they could have a “dish day” downstairs to help dry dishes. Bring towels, sponges, from downstairs. I think Duch would love to have soap and clean stuff in the playroom.
d. Put trash away. You could ask them to put things in the trash both upstairs and downstairs.
e. Put clothes in hamper. Everybody has a hamper now, so keep telling them to put their dirty clothes there.
f. Sweeping. They could practice sweeping upstairs first.
g. Clean the counter. Duch loves to take the sponge from the kitchen and clean things around. You could have a sponge upstairs (hidden, in case it ends in her mouth) and bring it out to clean her table.
h. Dishwasher. Pretend that things come from the dishwasher and need to be sorted.

5. Duchis’ scripting. We talked about Duch using the right sentences, like “thank you for playing with us” or “how thoughtful” at the appropriate times, but that sometimes the tone is a bit “artificial”; it sounds like a computer sentence. Megan recommended us to always answer in a very natural, genuine way so that she can see the difference between sentences that are a bit artificial and us being really nice and genuine and exaggerating in how excited we are that she is telling us thank you, etc.

6. We talked about schedules, so I finally put a sign in the office so that all kids know that the schedule for computer is after 4pm. The next step is to create a schedule for brown ham!!! I am thinking about it, let me know if you have any thoughts about rules related to brown ham so that she knows when she is going to get it and stops asking for it all the time. Once we have a rule on a sign, she will understand the new boundary and will be fine with it.